Evil Always Wins
by Labrynth
Summary: A Joss-fic... Helping B/A shippers everywhere to get even.


Disclaimer: No characters here, just Joss. He belongs to himself I think. This fic is all meant in fun. Not a stalker, don't wish him harm… just getting out my anger and frustrations over some of the current happenings. If you can't take it, or you have no sense of humor, don't bother reading it. You won't like it. 

*******

Evil Always Wins

She giggles softly to herself as she peeks around the corner of the building. He wasn't a god like they all claimed. He was just a meek little man. A little man who liked pain. Oh she'd show him what pain was.

Slipping out into the light of the parking lot lamps, she moves towards him quietly, waiting until she is close enough to strike before speaking.

"Excuse me? Mr. Whedon?" she asks just before bringing the thick script down on his head.

*******

"I won't tolerate this," he says sternly, his mind wondering how he will be able to put together the next episode now. He just didn't have time for this. Oh his production schedule was shot all to hell now.

"I'm sure you won't," she replies, "But it looks like you don't have much of a choice. Now, if you're nice and quiet, and behave yourself, then you'll get out of here a lot faster. And with less pain."

She began to pace then, moving back and forth slowly, making him think of Drusilla. Hmmm… should he bring her back? Would it really be worth the trouble? If Spike saw her… Snapping himself back to the present as she begins to speak again, his mind reels with new story arcs.

"Mr. Whedon," she starts sweetly, "It seems you just don't understand what you have created here." Slowing her pacing, she pauses a moment to look at him, "You see, you've spent a large amount of time trying to convince us. And you finally did, only to rip it all apart!" Stepping towards him menacingly, she narrows her eyes at him. "Buffy and Angel _need_ to be together! Don't you understand that now? How can you not see the obvious?"

Fighting the smile that creeps towards his lips, Joss tries to word his response carefully. "Ahh, I see what this is about," he says knowingly, "Buffy and Angel. They were together for a while. Isn't that enough? You've got Riley now. He's a nice stable kind of guy. He'll make her happy."

"Riley?!" she shrieks, horrified at the thought. "How can you even compare them? Riley is a little nothing compared to Angel. Compared to that kind of love. Riley is a blemish on their love! How could you _do_ this? How could you tear them apart like this?"

Gasping for air, her mind unable to see why this man can't see the error of his ways, she turns away a small sob escaping her lips. Men could be so dense.

"But Buffy and Angel are so perfect together. They are soul mates. How can you tear that apart? How could you betray them like that and all in the name of ratings?!"

Sighing dramatically, Joss tries to explain once again.

"But if they are together they can't grow as people. And if they can't grow as people, then they won't ever be happy. You want them to be happy don't you?"

Turning, she looks at him again. 'Those ropes look a bit too loose', she thinks idly. Moving to the back of the chair, she replies, her tone implying he is daft, "They were perfectly happy until you tore them apart." Pulling sharply on the ropes, she makes sure they are snug before taking a step back. "You couldn't leave well enough alone could you? Noooo, you had to go messing with a good thing. Had to go mess everything up. One of these days you'll learn. I had thought to let you learn on your own, but after that last stunt you let air, I have decided you aren't learning fast enough. So I'm going to help you along. This is going to hurt you more than it is going to hurt me."

Grunting as the ropes begin to cut off breathing capacity, he tries one more time to make the insane 'shipper let him go. He should have seen something like this coming. All those people on that blasted posting board were nuts!

"They might be together in the end. But I can't promise anything. Besides, do you really think keeping me here will bring them back together? If anything it will keep them apart. Only _I _can put them back together."

"Oh," she answers brightly, "But you will put them back together. That's exactly what you're doing here."

Moving to stand in front of him again, she frowns slightly at his confused look. For such a brilliant mind, he seemed to be kind of slow.

"You see Mr. Whedon, I've decided that you will never put them together again on your own. Or at least not together forever like they're supposed to be. Instead you put them together, then rip them apart. You just like hearing all of us in pain. So, you get to stay here in this room, with that computer over in that corner, until you put them together again. For real. Permanently."

"But I can't do that!" he protests, struggling with his bonds. "I can't just put them together again! Angel has his own show now! It's not the Buffy and Angel show, it's the Angel show! Haven't you been paying attention?! Geez woman, get a grip!"

"Of course I've been paying attention," she snaps, "But it should be the Buffy and Angel show. Apparently you are the one how hasn't been paying attention because it seems like I have to tell you everything!"

"You can't make me!" he cries, "You can't make me put them together again."

Smirking, she kneels down in front of him.

"Oh but I can," she tells him, "If you don't, I'm going to make you watch every episode of Charmed back to back." Smiling as he winces, she lowers her voice. "And then, if you still won't do it, I'm going to make you watch back to back episodes of Dawson's Creek!"

Cringing, he yells, "No, not that! Anything but that!" as she stands.

"And if that doesn't work," she continues as she resumes her former pacing, "I'll make you sit and watch Felicity!"

"For the love of all that is holy, please not that!" he screams, wriggling in his chair, trying to escape even the thought of such a torture.

But it was just not meant to be.

*******

Returning just as the last of the Felicity episodes run out, she closes the door softly behind her and stops to look at her prisoner.

He seems stunned, perhaps slightly dazed. When she rewinds the last episode back a few minutes and lets it play, his body begins to jerk at hearing Keri Russell's voice. Watching him until it is over, she decided that the spasms look much like a small seizure. Perhaps making him watch Felicity and Dawson's Creek was just too much for his mind to handle.

'Such a waste' she thinks as she takes a few steps towards him. 'He could have gone about this the easy way, but no, he had to go and get stubborn.'

As she reaches out to make sure he's still alive, he tries to pulls away and shouts, "NO! I'll never give in! You can't make me! You can't bring them together again!"

Moving to his side, she bends down to whisper into his ear.

"I'm sorry you see it that way Mr. Whedon. I'm now going to be forced to get mean. I'm going to make you watch Alien Resurrection over and over again. The VCR will play nothing else until you crack!"

With a shriek he caves in.

"Fine! Anything but that. I can't take that!" Struggling with his bonds, he looks up at her with pleading eyes, "Please, not that. I'll do what you want. Just don't make me watch that movie. I just can't watch the end of my film career again! You're turning my mind to unfunctioning goo!"

Smiling, she bends down and kisses his cheek.

"I knew you'd see it my way," she says as she turns for the door. "I'll be back shortly," she tells him sweetly, "I've just got to get that evil little partner in crime of yours, David Greenwalt, and then you two can begin your work."

He says nothing as she leaves, letting her think he is still panicked. When she is gone, he pulls his hands free!

"Oh just you wait… you are gonna pay for this," he says to the room. "You are going to pay dearly!"

Grinning to himself, he goes to the door and waits just a moment as his mind begins to form another story line.

And like all that is evil, he slips into the night and is gone.

*******

Author's Note: The final Edit is pending on this one.. as is the final title. Check back later to see the finished version.


End file.
